Inc.: 4 red flags that prove you're more emotionally intelligent than you think, backed by science

13 Mar 2024
Take a closer look, and you might find you possess far greater emotional intelligence than you suspect. Science says so.

Originally found at Inc.

Take a look around and it's easy to find someone you feel is more emotionally intelligent. (It's especially easy for me; I took an emotional intelligence test and learned that in a few ways, I'm kind of a jerk.)

But that might not be the case. What seem like red flags indicating a lack of EQ could actually be signs you're more emotionally intelligent than you might think.

Here are a few examples, backed by science.

1. You don't ask for (or particularly like) feedback.

Even if you tend to ask for feedback, most people don't like to give feedback, especially when that feedback is expected to be "constructive." Research shows when feedback is requested rather than volunteered, it tends to be too vague. Too fluffy.

Too "I don't want to hurt your feelings, so I'll just be nice" to be of any real value.

Asking for advice is different. A Harvard Business School study found that people who asked for advice rather than feedback were given 56 percent more ways to improve.

Don't like to say "How did I do?" No problem. Asking for feedback puts people on the spot. The emotionally intelligent approach is to ask, "What do you think I can do?" Or "What do you think I could do?" (But definitely not "What do you think I should do?" A study published in Academy of Management Journal found substituting the word "could" for "should" causes people to generate a lot more solutions, as well as much better solutions.)

Continue reading the original article at Inc.

Read the original research in Academy of Management Journal.

Read the Academy of Management Insights summary.

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